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November 9, 2009
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Ok, so what good is an alien abduction movie devoid of abductions and anal probes? Talk about letdowns. We all took our bets, I was in for 3, my friend 4. Since there were none, I guess I win, but I feel as though it's a hollow victory.

I mean, if aliens are going to abduct the crap out of people, I think they can do better than a blind 6 year old girl. She can't even see! How is that even fair? I think that qualifies as a hate-crime somehow, and with our new hate-crime laws in place those aliens would be doing a lot of time in federal, getting anal probes of a whole new sort. I wonder how you say "For the love of god and all that is holy, my anus is bleeding!" in ancient Sumerian?

Oh, I may have kinda spoiled the movie for you, if there were anything to spoil. Although I can't pretend like it's not just a little bit unsettling. Like the woman, she freakin' looks like an alien. She is the scariest part of the damn movie. Yes. Her face is scarier than the very vague imagery of the film. By "her" I refer to the actual person this thing was based on, the one played by Milla Jovovich. See, they had a lot of "real" footage mixed in with the film. Anyway, this woman was very obviously broken, and looked a little bit alien like herself. Shit makes you wonder, you know? Are the probes 9 or 12 inches? Are they ribbed for my pleasure? Do I even get a reach-around?

I'd be content not knowing...
  • Mood: Torment
  • Listening to: Chrono Cross Soundtrack
  • Reading: nead moar bokz
  • Eating: Your soul. Delicious!
:iconerohiel:
~Erohiel Nov 10, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, things I would have preferred to have ended my day without knowing.
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